They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
