I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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