I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
