1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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