i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
