You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
soo... how was my night?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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