Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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