oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Randomize
