I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
As shirtless as possible
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
