Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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