She said her name was "party"
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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