the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
