"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
pray to the hookup gods
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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