I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The best revenge is premature balding
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
