I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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