Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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