This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
