lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
