Where did you get a picture of my penis
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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