Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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