You really coming over, don't trick.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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