It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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