Sry I called you an 8
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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