He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Found your dick twin last night
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
