I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
