Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
