So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
