im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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