your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
