so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
