they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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