i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
