she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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