So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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