OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
