So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
