Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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