I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
