Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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