bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
