thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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