your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
