I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
