I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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