trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
my liver is dry heaving
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
