I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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