My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
