maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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