I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
