And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i dont even know how to be here
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
